The Beaver

I need to make a post about the Beaver. The Beaver is this Aussie who is so fucking good looking, that it's comical.
He is model hot, and every time me and Megan see him he is so fucking drunk that it prevents him from getting girls. This is saying something, because he should never have a problem getting laid. We saw him last night at this house party and just killed ourselves laughing every time he did anything.
We tried to get him to bench press me, and we tried to get him to take his shirt off, but we couldn't unfortunately. Not yet at least. Bu everything he did was just sooo funny. I feel like he isn't a real person. More likely a robot, a sex robot.
At one point he put his arms around us and said that he didn't work out, and that God had "blessed him with this body."

Like seriously. Are you fucking kidding me?

Ah fuck, I wish I could remember what else he did, but I was too fucking drunk.
Which reminds me, if you find a forty of vodka that is ten dollars, you should expect a massive hangover the next day. Fucking Christ.
Also, in order to feed my sick beard obsession and my love of getting guys to do borderline homosexual acts, I got two dudes to rub beards.



I know, I know, only one of them really has a beard, but I have to work with what I've got, god damn it.